I think that prayer
is the same thing
as just
concentrated energy.
So,
maybe,
prayer does work.
I completely believe
in the concept
that
energy attracts energy.
For me,
if I believe in something
wholeheartedly,
it usually comes true.
So,
If people
get on their knees
(I don’t)
and pray
for something,
I guess they have
a better chance
of getting it
than those who don’t.
I have no idea.
I’m not so sure
that the “god”
that THEY are praying to
is manipulatable.
When I was living
in this Doctor’s home
during College,
his FAT,
loud-mouthed wife
prayed for
close-in parking spaces.
She would circle
and circle
and circle
THE MALL
waiting for a close parking space
to free up.
I told her
that by the time
she circled around
so many times,
she could have parked far away
and gone in THE MALL,
purchased her item,
and been back home
by the time
that THE perfect space
opened up.
I thought,
but didn’t say,
that
NOT walking to her car
is the very reason
that she is so
FAT.
But,
according to her logic,
she got her parking space;
just in god’s time,
not hers.
THAT
is between she
and her “god”,
I guess.
The closest I come
to praying
is either while driving,
or first thing in the morning
after waking up,
laying there,
planning who I’m gonna be
that day.
Driving
with music on
makes me cry
because I hear all music
as a love song
between me
and Jesus.
I’m gay for Jesus,
you know.
Driving without music on
makes me think,
and plan,
and process,
and straighten out
all the information
in my head
that needs sorting out.
So,
for me,
driving is prayer.
Not FAT loud-mouth’s
kind of prayer,
but my kind.
Laying in the bed
right after waking
is when I make the decision
to have a clear day.
Being gay for Jesus,
I have hundreds
of pictures of HIM
to see when I open my eyes.
The decision I usually
have to make
is whether to fear,
or to fuck fear.
Well,
once I say IT,
there is no choice.
I HAVE to fuck IT.
Maybe I should put
a drive thru window
on my gallery
and offer
Drive Thru Fear Fucking.
