LOVE IS ________________.

I fucking hate
Valentine’s Day.


I hate that it means
that our society
has built up this image
of pink shit everywhere,
perfectly shaped red hearts,
fattening-ass chocolate,
and dead-ass preservative-injected roses
as symbols of
“real” Love in Life.

Being a divorced father,
I spent wayyyy to many years
being in the wrong place
at the right time.

More than one exact holiday-day
I have spent curled up in bed,
paralyzed by doubt and fear
by me not being where “I should be”,
scared shitless that I was less than loving,
darkly detached that my life was so different,
heart broken that those I loved
were eternally laughing THERE
without me.

I had to make a Decision.
I had to Celebrate MY reality.
I had to one-up those fears,
and those brilliant marketeers!

Valentine’s Day
had to be the day closest
to February 14th
that I had visitation
with Mary Grace.

to us
was usually somewhere betweeen
December 20th and January 1st.

It just was,
and we learned something
valuable by this adjustment.

Unhappiness is the distance between
where you are and where you wish you were.

I am in Isla Mujeres
with my daughter
on Valentines Day.


If you find yourself
not where
the images of our society
tells you you should be today,
or any STUPID holiday
built around some
money-grubbing marketing plan
tells you that you should be,
just play a little trick
with your mind.

Love is not greater
when accompanied by
chocolate and roses
given expectedly
by some magical suitor.


Love is what you choose.
Love is curling up with a good book you want to read.
Love is finally cleaning that closet you will feel such reward when cleaned.
Love is any connection you cherish.

Love is crying good tears,
knowing that YOU know love,
and that you know
that when someone tells you
what love is,
and you know it isn’t THAT,
that you can smile comfortably
in your own safe space,
experiencing whatever
you define Love to be.

Go inside yourself today
and write your own definition of love,
then go outside,
and live that love,
give THAT love.

Go get you some >>>

It’s Valentines Day.
I fucking love it.


My twin, Mary Grace, and I!