“BREAKING NEWS!
BREAKING NEWS!
BREAKING NEWS!
CNN has announced
that they believe
that
THE “HOT BY AUGUST” FUCK-FAT CHALLENGE
will be won,
by none other than,
GRANT HENRY!”
If you didn’t know me,
you’d think
that I was the most
Egotistical Asshole
alive.
I don’t allow anything
inside my brain
other than
the positive outcome
of my goals.
NOTHING.
So,
when challenged
to the
FUCK FAT CHALLENGE,
my mind immediately goes
to having already
won!
I don’t lose.
jaj ajajjaj
I have played
Ping Pong
since I was
my grand-dog’s age.
My Dad,
having always
been a School Principal,
always had access
to a Ping Pong Table.
I get my wrist action
from him,
Sid.
I learned to play
from Sid,
watching him
NOT MOVE
an inch,
and overpower
his opponent
without breaking
a sweat.
We’re a lot alike,
THAT way.
We don’t break sweats.
I start each Ping Pong game
by telling my opponent
that I have never lost,
and give them the opportunity
to bow out gracefully,
with their pride intact.
jaja jajja
I am one lucky guy,
having also gotten
my beautiful legs
from my Mom,
who was a Majorette
for FSU
back when only girls
went there.
ja aj I’m joking already.
I have a little secret
that you cannot tell
my opponents
that I am opposed to in
THE FUCK FAT CHALLENGE.
They are being
intimidated into
submission.
jaj ajajjajaj
I WILL WIN
because
I have unwavering
confidence
that I WILL WIN.
I wish I could say
that I am scared.
I wish I could
honestly say
that I had
one ounce of worry
that I won’t win
the competition.
THAT
would be a lie.
I WILL WIN.
In fact,
I have won.
A friend was talking today
about a goal he had
for losing weight.
He said:
“I’m about ready to decide
to take the plunge
and lose the weight”.
We look at each other
knowing that in order
for him to lose the weight,
he had to eliminate
the phrase
“I’m about ready”
as well as
“to decide”
before the weight
could come off.
This ain’t no
goddamn dress rehearsal.
FATFUCKERS FOR CHRIST!!!
