THE HOT
BY AUGUST
FUCK FAT
CHALLENGE!!!
I’m finding out
that there are
many roads
that get to
the same place.
2 other
FAT ASS FRIENDS
and I challenged each other
to see who could
lose the most weight
before August 1.
My road
goes along a path
that is going to eliminate
sugar, dairy, flour,
and alcohol.
Anybody who knows me
knows that I am
one obsessive-compulsive
Baby Daddy.
I am offering to pay
anyone who sees me
eat sugar, dairy, or flour,
or sees me drink
ANY alcohol
$500.00
I could have said
$10,000.00
because if I say
i am going to do something,
I damn do it.
They are sunk.
I WILL WIN.
I will be
the biggest
LOSER.
I think I’m a little competitive,
too,
having NEVER lost
at Ping Pong.
jaja ajaj ja
That’s my story,
and I’m sticking to it.
One of my friends
thinks she is going to lose
it by going to Bootcamp,
drinking 2 bottles
of wine
per night,
and flapping her
Bingo Wings
in hyper-speed
as she walks
around the kitchen
eating
M&M’s.
FAIL.
Another friend
says he is going
on the South Beach Diet,
but THAT is so,
like,
last year,
plus he owns
3 restaurants
that all serve
fucking fried food.
He might as well
not EVEN start;
his restaurants
all have booze too,
and when it’s free
for him,
do you think
he’ll resist?
It is our goal
to make this
a FUN journey.
We’re talking about
having FRUITARIAN FRIDAYS,
SALAD SATURDAYS,
AND SOUPER SUNDAYS.
We’re going
to get a Group Colonic
and have
THAT shit
photographed!
We’re gonna damn
walk to Acworth,
and THAT
is like 40 miles!!!
A friend wrote today
and said that we
can come to the
Y.M.C.A..
If we do,
we’re dressing up
as The Village People
because gyms
damn bore
me to
damn death.
I should wear
my old habit.
After 3 months,
hopefully,
I will have picked up
a new habit.
Sorry Hollis.
Sorry Michael.
Just call me
LOSER.
